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MISCONCEPTIONS - seeking Adonai through the veil
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How does a Jewish San Francisco girl come to believe that Yeshua, or Jesus as the gentiles call Him, is the promised Savior of the world? Growing up in the Bay Area gives a young person access to a tantalizing smorgasbord of life paths. If you look hard enough you might find Jesus in the “J” section between I Ching and Jupiter Cycle, but you’d be loath to seek Him out with all the other more alluring options before you. He certainly held no attraction for me. I grew up thinking that people who believe in Jesus are just plain stupid. Lest you think poorly of my parents, I assure you I had a heart full of prejudice all on my own. I just knew that Jews were the smart people, and Christians couldn’t think for themselves. I was married to my husband a year before I realized he wasn’t joking when he talked about Jesus. My parents were the coolest bohemian artist couple you could ever imagine. My dad hosted beat light shows during the 60’s, and my mother’s fashion illustrations could be seen on billboards above the highway curling around San Francisco’s downtown. I came from cool! |
My dad taught me that he was God. This was one way of expressing his rejection of the narrow-mindedness of prior generations. I believed it of course, and found him to be a most enchanting god. My dad loved to watch me, and I grew accustomed to the loving caress of his eyes on me. He was all the god I needed, and I never learned of any other sort until I left home. |
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While at college I became aware of the habit I had of thinking that Daddy was still watching me, but one day I realized that he wasn’t. When his eyes seemed to vanish from the sky above me I fell with a devastating crash. Gradually I began to see that our Heavenly Father was watching me, and He was patiently teaching me about His love. Like after my devastating abortion, when I found an old token on the ground that simply said, “He careth for you.” I knew it had to be God talking because who else would use the word “careth”? |
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Being Jewish meant to me hosting Passover, collecting a few words of Yiddish, a family recipe for Matzoh Brie, a Master’s degree and some Jewish jokes, but mostly it was our history of persecution and enmity with gentiles, particularly Christians. As for knowing the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, it wasn’t until I went into churches that I encountered people who actually read the Hebrew Scriptures, (or Old Testament), memorized them and believed them. I remember the first time I heard a pastor in church talking about Moses. Who in the world did he think he was, telling me about Moses? Moses is our guy! Why was it that Christians cherished the Hebrew Scriptures more than any Jew I’d ever met? I thought Christianity and Judaism were in a race against each other. When I began to see my husband teaching our children about Jesus, I figured I had better bone up and teach them about being Jewish. Like I was in a giant sack race where I was stuck with one leg in the sack with Jesus, but I was trying to win the race anyway for Judaism. Of course that meant I first had to learn about being Jewish, so I brushed up on Baruch Attah Adonai, latkes and Yom Kippur - just enough to win the race. I also made sure my kids knew about our family holocaust history, which was the heart and soul of my Jewish identity. |
I later learned that I could believe in Yeshua without foresaking my own heritage - in fact my Jewish identity came to full blossom in Yeshua.
I thought Christians made up stuff like sin, salvation and atonement. When I finally read the Hebrew Scriptures I saw that everything the Christians believe is rooted in our ancient texts. The writers of its books are all Jewish except one; they lived like Jews and did not reject Judaism. Yeshua was a rabbi who kept the feasts, and He intended His salvation for the Jew first. The New Testament unlocks the mysteries of the Hebrew Scriptures and vice versa. In fact, the very idea of the New Testament, or New Covenant, is found in Jeremiah 31:31, which is in the Old Testament!
And finally, Yeshua’s atoning death, that He made Himself a sacrificial lamb so that we could be cleansed of sin, comes right out of Passover, Yom Kippur and the temple sacrifices. I began to see that we are all sinful and in need of redemption if we are to commune with our Holy God. Turning my life over to Yeshua was the most Jewish thing I could possibly do.
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I thought becoming Christian meant that I would sign a certificate of membership and pledge a portion of my income toward some organization. I thought I could just sign up secretly and maybe it would bring family unity. I learned later that the real church of God is not an institution made by men and women, but it is a spiritual entity, a work of the Spirit of God. In an unexpected shift, I slowly began to identify, not with the churches where men and women congregate, but with that spiritual entity. One day someone dear to me called Christianity stupid, and I was stung to the quick. One day a friend told me that a loving God would never send people to hell, and I could discern that she didn’t know what she was talking about. One day someone made a Christian slur and I objected. A veil was being removed from my eyes. |
How one day I gave a different answer to an invitation I’d heard for more than 20 years, the simple invitation to ask Jesus into my heart?
How my “yes” stemmed from the most feeble faith in this man Yeshua holding something greater for me than I could give to myself?
How Yeshua answered my reluctant, surly assent with an immersion in His pure forgiving love?
How all my misconceptions and confusion melted away? How I was cleansed and forgiven for all time, in a way that the yearly cleansing of our Day of Atonement cannot achieve?
How Yeshua’s cleansing forgiveness gave me access to our Heavenly Father?
How the Scriptures exploded open with meaning for me?
How I broke the bonds of self and gained access to the infinite?
How my faith in Yeshua has increased my hunger for Judaism?
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If Yeshua is what He claims to be, then you cannot afford to turn away. I know that you have questions regarding the Holocaust, the innocent, Christian history of the last 2,000 years, Christian anti-semitism and more, as I did. I promise you that there are answers to all your questions, alongside God’s awesome mystery. But if you earnestly seek truth, I invite you to say a prayer: “Lord, please reveal Yourself to me. I seek You. Please show me the truth about Yeshua.” Our Heavenly Father hears your earnest prayers, and will answer you, as he did me. |
