The Lord appears to be coaxing me along with a series of encouraging clues regarding my mother's salvation. He hears the frequent prayers on behalf of all my unsaved family. He knows how challenging my discovery of the truth of the Messiahship of Yeshua has been for my mom. And he seems to be assuring me that she will come to know Him, despite how implausible that seems.

My mom is the only person I've ever known who actually fills in every word of her crossword puzzles. As I sit and watch her settle in to the task, a cup of coffee near her on the table, her eyes narrowing to read the clues and count the spaces without the help of reading glasses, I see her determination to understand the whole piece to its finish. Suitable indeed that God would communicate to me through the most delicate hints, as though he were helping me fill in the spaces of a crossword that when finished, will reveal something of my mother's eternal condition.

The first hint came in the form of a lap quilt that Mom brought home from a garage sale. She did not notice when she bought it that it had a tiny bit of embroidery on the corner. The words stitched there were from Joshua 24:15, saying, "But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." I do not imagine it to be a meaningless accident that these words made their way into my mother's hands and into her home.

My mother has been very cooperative in joining me in worship since I came to Yeshua. I think she is in part delighted that the change has made me so Jewish, even while she is repulsed by even the mention of the name of Jesus. The next hint came after a Shabbat we spent together with a devout Messianic Jewish family. Mom loved this family that shared their cozy Shabbat with us. She admired the learned father, the obedient children, the warm loving household steeped in Jewish tradition. She loved the singing of prayers, the lighting of the candles, the kosher feast, the mix of Spanish, Hebrew, Yiddish and English that was spoken. After many hours of visiting during which she discussed Yeshua with them, Mom made a comment in the car on the way home that I took as a further assurance regarding her soul. She said, "If I were ever to do this [give her heart to Yeshua], I would certainly never tell my friends." Apparently she was considering her options! Hallelujah!

Another hint came in the form of a dream. Mom called me one day and said, "I had the most amazing dream last night, and I think you will like it. It's right up your alley. The dream took the form of a riddle, and it was, 'What is in the angel's pouch?' And guess what the answer was! The WORD!" I was elated to hear her dream, and couldn't wait until the next day when we were scheduled to go shopping together and I could tell her about the Word of God made flesh.

When I got to her house the next day and brought up the dream, she said, "I told you the dream all wrong. It wasn't a pouch at all. It was a..." At this point she had to go consult a thesaurus because she couldn't remember the word the angel had used. After a few moments of uncertainty, she found her word. "The riddle was, 'What is in the angel's scabbard?' It was a scabbard, that thing you put a sword into, not a pouch."

That day I was able to share with her from Ephesians 6 and John 1, and she was in such high spirits the whole day that she even rejoiced when I bought her a bible and showed her how it had the same Hebrew scripture in it as the Tanakh.

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. (Heb 4:12)

Recently after having watched a documentary on the Shoah on television, Mom told me plainly to stop hoping that she will accept Yeshua into her heart. It's simply too much to ask of her after all she has been through in her life. Yet at the same time she has come up with a new phrase to explain the love of Yeshua, after having heard many a learned and persuasive speaker sing the praises of the gospel. Now she says, "Maybe all you people are just ahead of your time." She thinks there are only 30 or 40 of us in all the world, and that we are a strange anomoly. Indeed, we are a peculiar people, she's right about that. And we are ahead of our time in that we are looking toward a land and a time beyond this one. At least her new statement is not a denial.

I see the conflicts within her, and can only persist in loving her with the heart of Jesus and continuing to pray for her. I know that the Holy Spirit has the power to transform her, even at her age and working with the reality of her history and her personality. Yet I may never know what transpires between her and God, that is until I reach Glory myself and either find her there to share in eternal joy, or not. I choose to believe in light of these hints that although I may not be sure in this lifetime, she will be saved.