Lesson From a Hymn

When I encountered the hymn, Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, I was very touched by it and added it to my repertoire. But as I examined the words, I found myself troubled to be singing lyrics that confessed to being prone to wander from God.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love;

No Lord, not me! I will never wander! Those can't be the words of one who loves you as I do! I changed the verses around, since the song was too long anyway and I found I could combine this phrase with that one and make a perfectly good reduction that eliminated those lyrics that I didn't like.

Then one day I found myself wandering. I was undone, like a doll whose stuffing and stitching were coming apart. I had a bad week. I experienced chilling faithlessness. I forgot God's promises, His Word and His comfort. I found I hadn't read from the Word of God for so long I was lost in a foreign country. I let doubt, confusion and distress be my master. I couldn't maintain steady worship. As I groped to find my way back to peace and the familiar warmth of the bosom of the Lord, I finally saw myself in those words.

Left to my own devices I will revert to my former ways. I will become a slave to the desires of my flesh. I will descend into isolation and despair. I will worry myself sick. If I am passive, inertia will be the tool of the enemy to bring me to forget, disregard, doubt, neglect, and finally be swallowed up in a numbing sleep.

Christianity is not intuitive, it is not native to our selfish natures. It is not passive. Only by the daily renewal of vows, the constant involvement in spiritual surrender to the precious Lamb of God, the continual discipline of worship, can the Lord overcome the barriors of self and remake us in His own image. For this reason, I sing,

Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, Bind my wandering heart to Thee.

Little Curve-Ball

Having just learned that my daughter is going to have a child, my whole world has been turned on its head. Often when she has gotten herself into trouble she says, "Mommy, I have to make all the same mistakes you made."

She has indeed gone in many of the foolish directions I did at her age, and come back from them, by the grace of God. But one mistake she is not making is that she would never consider having an abortion as I did, praise God. She is going to have her baby. She is going to marry Eddie and change her life to accommodate this new life growing within her. To me this feels like such a vindication for my error, such a victory for life and its Author, such a slap in the face for the enemy of Life. Thank you Father that I will have a chance to honor the life of this child.

While there is much to say about this, I say today, Glory to You, Father, that my family ties with the spirit of the unwanted child are severed in the precious name of Jesus.

The Gift of Giving

When I worked in a flower shop I found that there were flowers that were fresh on Saturday, but wouldn't make it through Sunday to be fresh still on Monday. So when I joined my church I asked a local flower shop if they would donate such flowers for our Sunday morning worship. This shop agreed to do so, and has been faithful to donate every Sunday for almost three years, and I have the dear pleasure of preparing a small fresh arrangement for Sunday services each week.

One Sunday I sat in church during services and gazed at the lovely flowers I'd arranged with such care. I was filled with joy to be able to worship the Lord in this way. I said to God in my mind, "I am so happy to be able to give you this gift!"

God answered me that day most clearly. He said, "You give me this gift? Don't you mean that I give you this gift?" I could only answer, "Yes, Father. You give to me, that I may give back to you."

Truly, even our praise of God is by His grace and is a gift from Him. As the hymn says, "Thou must light the flame, or never can my love be warmed to praise."

"Lord, my spirit's ardent feelings vainly would my lips express.
Low before thy footstool kneeling, deign thy suppliant's prayer to bless;
Let thy grace, my soul's chief treasure, Love's pure flame within me raise;
And, since words can never measure, let my life show forth thy praise!"