RELEASED FROM THE WORKS OF MY MOUTH

Loretta called me a few weeks ago at 8am and told me that she had a ticket for me to go to Israel with a group of prayer warriors. I was shocked and excited at the opportunity, but I was unable to accept it.  This is because I made a vow to God and to the world that I would not go to Israel without my husband.  My thinking when I made the vow was that I don't want our lives in worship and service to God to be divisive, and because it is my desire to go with him.  

I went into my prayer closet and spoke to God about it, seeking His counsel, searching my heart, and reading the Word.  Often when I ask the Lord to show me where in His Word I might find an answer to my concerns, He gently prompts me to just take up my daily reading.  That day I was reading Jeremiah 44.  I expected there might be something in there about going to Israel.  

Instead, I found a rebuke.   In that chapter Jeremiah is sending a message from the Lord to the Jews living in exile, warning the men regarding their wives who are worshipping other gods.  In verse 25 he refers to the bad vows they made with their mouths.  He says, "You will surely keep your vows and perform your vows!"  They were unwilling to repent of their vows, and thus suffered God's anger.

From this I understood that I had made a bad vow, a vow that took me out of God's will.  God wanted me to be free from vows, so that I can do His will, not my own.  I repented of all vows, asked my husband to release me also from the vow, and obtained his blessing to go to Israel.

The Lord made me ready to go to Israel that day, and freed me from the works of my mouth, but I was not to go to Israel.  Loretta later discovered that it was impossible to change the ticket over at such short notice.  In the end, she went to Israel, and has her own remarkable stories about her trip, and the time in advance of the trip.

My story is about how my Father in heaven brought me closer to readiness to do His will instead of my own.  And I stayed in my pajamas for my journey.

Exactly Where He Wants Me

Albert is a soldier in the army of the Lord. He is ready for battle. He is unencumbered, so that if the Lord needs him to move out, he is ready to go. He describes himself like Gideon's soldiers who stood lapping their water from their hands instead of kneeling down to drink, that they might stay alert and ready. He shows me how this looks, with his hand cupped below his mouth as he scans the landscape for danger. Few possessions to tie him down, finances simple and in order, the minimizing of dependence on the ways of this world. He talked a lot, I listened. I admired, and I also wondered about myself.

I thought about how encumbered I am. I thought of the complexity of my finances, my burden of debt, so distasteful to me. I have always assumed that the Lord doesn't want me to be in debt, because it is an encumbrance and because it is ugly. I thought I was in debt because of some disharmonious disconnect between Father in heaven and me, or perhaps because of some shameful insufficiency of my character, that didn't allow me to be in my Father's will.

I thought God wanted me to be like Albert, and so after my encounter with Albert I despaired. Then I took a quiet path in which I tuned my ears to the Lord's still, small voice. I heard a message that surprised me, while it relieved me of a great long-standing discomfort. The Lord communicated to me in that moment that I am exactly where He wants me. He has allowed this uncomfortable debt to discipline and teach me. He could free me from my debts in the blink of an eye if He wanted to, but He has not done that.

There is much to glean from my financial indebtedness about the debt that Jesus paid on my behalf. I thank God for being so patient as to hold my hand through what Molly delightfully calls the Glorious Untangling of my finances, and I think now I can start really enjoying being in debt, as I seek higher understanding through it, as I seek to glorify the Father through it, and I continue to look to the Lord to bring me freedom from it, when it is His perfect will to do so.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:2)